I originally wrote this poem about a year ago and titled it The Well. I have read and reread it since about a bazillion times. Made changes and edits, poets and writers will understand why.
I am now happy enough with it. (I think) I’ve given it a new title, I’m really happy with that!
Reaching for Daylight
I fall down deep into the darkness,the blackness of forever. A quiet so loud that nothing nor anyone can be heard.
I sleep the sleep of forgotten responsibilities. Curled up I cannot hear, I cannot speak. I don’t have to think.
I’m wrapped in a comfey blanket of gray, the opaque color of fog.
Where nothing can be seen clearly. Everything is cloaked in a saturated heavy misty gloom. Not dead, but certainly not living.
Arms and legs encased in concrete, prevent even the slightest move. Every mistake made, every self doubt keeps my brain screaming. Long ago words that were hurled like rocks hitting their mark are playing in my mind like some twisted loop.
On autopilot I accomplish the minimum. Canceled plans leave family and friends confused. I say I’m fine but that’s a mask. I’m unable to complete even the simplest of tasks.
As quickly as it came it sure is slow to leave. A greedy, sinister, interloper of my life has gobbled up all but a glimmer of light. It throws me down and sits on me until I can barely breathe.
But that glimmer is my saving grace starting as a whisper. I hear it low and faint. You must get-up and come back to the light, yes you can do it, but you’ve got to fight. The whisper increases volume GET-UP… GET-UP…GET-UP once more. You can do it, as many times before.
I begin to climb, claw, and scratch my way back. Im searching and searching for the path.
I plead to God for help with the baggage that I know I must unpack. Two steps forward and about 20 back.
I slide down a few times to the familiar darkness. Bruised, bleeding, and broken from my own thoughts. Hands are outstretched to me our fingertips brush. Just within reach, the whisper becomes clear…you must! You must perceivere.
Depression is an ongoing and an exhausting fight. But I know I have the strength within me to keep Reaching for Daylight.
Images from Google search, I claim no rights to them.
#depression #poetry #writing
#family #light #love